Do You Need to Reconnect and Rest?

Earlier this week, I asked on Instagram if you knew what you needed. 80% said, “no”.

Reconnecting with what you need can be a process, but it is important to practice checking in with yourself. I often share with clients to begin with asking yourself in the ordinary moments. The more you practice tuning into your needs then you will be more prepared when it is a more complicated season.

I will be sharing two simple ways to tune into what you need.

What type of playlist do you need?

Music taps into our emotions. It can be incredibly nostalgic. Music can motivate you.

What kind of playlist do you need?
- An Emotional Playlist that connects you to your feelings as a way to fully feel them.
- A Nighttime Playlist full of slow jams to help you wind down after a hard day.
- A Motivational Playlist to get you excited to move your body and exercise (or clean your kitchen).
- A Throwback Playlist that helps you remember simpler times or makes you feel happy.
- A Focusing Playlist that helps you stay on task.

What kind of rest do you need right now?

Going to bed earlier.
Laughter.
Connecting with life-giving friends.
Spending time in nature.
Sleeping in.
Listening to music.
Disconnecting from technology.
Stillness.
Time off from work.
Taking a nap.
Time alone.
Asking for help.
Reading a book.
Watching a movie.

Discerning what you need is one way to practice self-care, but it may take some help figuring out what needs you need to meet. If you are looking for help with a therapist with getting your needs met, then schedule a consult with Jessica.

Comment below on which type of rest or playlist you need.

self care gift ideas

A few years ago, I created my first Self-Care Holiday Gift Guide, but this year I wanted to create a gift guide that would help you strengthen your Self-Care skills. In my free annual Self-Care Planner, I share eight key long-term Self-Care Skills: Relational, Spiritual, Professional, Emotional, Environmental, Physical, Psychological, and Personal. Each of these Self-Care Skills will help you take courageous action in 2022.

Each of these gift guides are meant to inspire you in creating your own holiday wish list and helping you buy a gift for the sister-in-law that has everything. One of the goals of this gift guide is to help you find tangible items that will remove barriers to self-care. There is nothing magical about any of these specific products, but if you set your intentions for these tangible items to be used as self-care, they can become tools for self-care. Also, you may see things you already own, please use those items too. I hope this holiday gift guide helps you to see self-care differently and more accessible. Also, none of these are affiliate links and they are just to spark your imagination. If this is helpful, pin any of these images to Pinterest to keep for shopping later. Happy Holidays!

Relational Self-Care Gifts

The goal of Relational Self-Care Skills is to have strong and life-giving relationships with people that you can connect with and can fully show up as yourself. 
The specific practices are: I ask for help. I spend time with life-giving people. I say “No” when I need to say “No.” I have hard conversations. I do not people please.

Table Topics Conversation Cards: Connect with family and friends through fun conversation. If your year has been like my year, I am ready for conversations other than about the pandemic, economy, or politics. This is a great gift to have more intentional, but enjoyable conversations. Some of my favorite holiday memories with my family include these cards.

The Mind Card Game: Playing cards or board games can be another fun way to share experiences with loved ones. Drop your favorite board game to play in the comments below.

Cheese Boards: This can be a great gift if you are wanting to host more. Ps. Trader Joes has great affordable cheeses.

Hot Dog & Marshmallow Roasters: Are you planning on spending more time around a fire pit this winter with life-giving people? Add a s’mores making kit to your themed gift.

Portable Heater: Another great option for spending time with friends outside this winter. This portable heater gets bonus points because you can use it for camping, which can be a spiritual self-care practice.

Physical Self-Care Gifts:

The goals of Physical Self-Care Skills are to connect with your body and take care of your body in long-term ways. 
The specific practices are: I get enough sleep. I schedule and go to annual doctor’s appointments. I eat meals and snack when I am hungry. I move my body multiple times a week. I listen to my body.

Zella High Waist Leggings: Who doesn’t want another pair of high-waisted leggings? These are great due to their rating of 4.5 with 7,000+ reviews and sizing of 00-24. Wearing clothes that actually fit your body is an important piece of self-care.

Peloton App Subscription: Recently, many of us have tried to find new ways to move our bodies at home. You do not have to have their bike or treadmill to use this app. The Peloton App offers a 30-day free trial and has a rating of 4.9 with 364.3K reviews. The app gets self-care bonus points because they have a collection of meditation classes. If you are looking for a free workout option: check out Yoga with Adrienne.

Cook Once Eat All Week: I bought this cookbook last April and immediately told all my friends about it. The cookbook’s premise is batch cook three separate meals at once using one type of meat, one main vegetable, and one starch. Cassie Joy includes a grocery list for that week and modifications if you have dietary restrictions. If you hate to meal plan, but want to meal plan this may be a good first step. Our favorite week of recipes is number six: ground chicken, bell peppers, and rice, which becomes Curried Chicken Lettuce Cups, Firecracker Meatballs, Chicken Burrito Bowls. Recently, she recently released Cook Once Dinner Fix, which helps you use leftovers to create another meal.

Swell Water Bottle: Most of us need to drink more water. Try to listen more to your body for thirst cues. Will a cute water bottle help you with this self-care practice?

Thistle Farm’s Lavender Spa Set: Many of you mentioned using lavender lotion or lavender essential oils in your nighttime routine to help you get more sleep. Our family loves Thistle Farm’s passion and products. If you don’t know this Nashville non-profit, please check out their site. Thistle Farms “provides housing, case management, healthcare, counseling, education, and employment for two years for free. Love heals. Five years after graduation, 75% of their graduates are living healthy, financially independent lives.”

More Physical Self-Care Gifts:

• Dumbbell Hand Weights

• My sister’s favorite masks set

• My favorite Hand Sanitizer 

• Water Bottle with Time Marker

Spiritual Self-Care Gift Guide:

The goal of Spiritual Self-Care Skills is to connect to something bigger than yourself. 
The specific practices are: I volunteer. I practice gratitude. I am a part of a spiritual community. I spend time in nature. I listen to music.

Chacos: One of my favorite spiritual practices is being outdoors. I lived in Chacos in my twenties and got my second pair a few years ago because they last forever. Would a durable pair of outdoor shoes help you get outside more?

Wireless Headphones: Listen up, I feel like I was late to the wireless headphone game. I got this pair for Christmas last year (because I assumed I would lose one immediately and did not want to lose an Apple Earbud). I have used these every single day for almost a year (and not lost them… but I have been in my house for a majority of the year). I listen to podcasts, audiobooks (for free from the library), and Spotify. Also, it is great for handsfree driving.

Emily McDowell Card Set: Want to step up your gratitude practice? Send a card to a life-giving friend and tell them three specific ways you are thankful for them. Ps. Don’t forget to buy stamps and support the USPS.

Waterproof Bluetooth Portable Speaker: Want to listen to music in nature? This gift gets self-care bonus points because you can use it for hosting friends, being in nature, and listening to good music. Again, any portable speaker is great, but I added this one due to it being waterproof.

Wise Owl Hammock: This was one of my birthday gifts in May of 2020. I wanted to be outside more, but from the comfort of my backyard. The Wise Owl Outfitters company is family owned and operated and based in Franklin, TN.

More Spiritual Self-Care Gift Ideas from the Christian Perspective:

• Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy by Aundi Kolber

• An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith by Barbara Brown Taylor

• Love Heals by Becca Stevens

• Good and Beautiful God Book Series by James Bryan Smith

• For kids: The Jesus Storybook Bible and When I Pray for You

Psychological Self-Care Gift Guide:

The goals of Psychological Self-Care Skills is to build a healthy mindset and to know how to tune into the helpful thoughts. 
The specific practices are: I trust myself to make the next right choice. I have realistic positive self-talk. I can ignore negative self-talk or can quiet my inner critic. I practice forgiveness and self-forgiveness. I have a mindfulness practice.

Emily McDowell Everyday Bravery Enamel Pins: Who doesn’t need some Everyday Bravery? These would be great stocking stuffers. Some of my other favorites are: Ignored the Haters Everyday Bravery Enamel Pin, Found My Voice Everyday Bravery Enamel Pin, and Loved Myself Everyday Bravery Enamel Pin.

Inspiring Art Prints: Many of you have said that having an inspiring art print up in your room or office helps with positive self-talk and quieting your inner critic. If Lindsay Letter’s “Read Fiction Be Real” isn’t what you are looking for then check out Lisa Congdon’s “Your Actions Matter” and Ohhappydani’s “Worthy Print.” If you have a favorite inspiring art print, please share it in the comments below.

Bullet Journal: Of course a therapist would include a journal in her self-care gift guide. Whether you want a bullet journal or use a regular journal (Rifle Paper’s Wildwood Fabric Journal or Lisa Congdon’s Your Story Matters Journal) you will benefit from having a place to write down your thoughts and process your emotions, which will help you decide on your next right choice. Ps. Add some favorite pens to your wishlist.

The Gifts of Imperfection: This book is a great place to start if you are going to read one self-help book this year. If this is your first time to read The Gifts of Imperfection then please take the Wholehearted Living Inventory to give you insight on your current strengths and growth areas. It is a great free assessment. Brené Brown is one of my favorite authors due to the way she shares her research with compelling stories. This is the 10th anniversary edition of Gifts of Imperfection and has updated and added practices and a new forward.

Headspace Meditation App: Beginning a mindfulness practice can feel a little daunting, but I recommend using guided meditations to begin. First choose your intention: sleep better, focus more, or stress less and then try a few short (three minutes to ten minutes) beginner meditations to begin your practice. If you are looking for a different free meditation app, I like the Insight Timer App.

Emotional Self-Care Gifts:

The goal of Emotional Self-Care Skills is to have practices in place to handle big emotions when life is difficult. 
The specific practices are: I laugh often. I offer self-compassion in difficult moments. I journal or share emotions with a safe person. I notice and hold space for BIG emotions. I use coping skills and strategies when needed.

Olive and June Manicure System: A manicure kit feels like a very traditional self-care gift, but one way to level up your self-care is using your nail polish to help notice and hold space for BIG emotions. When you notice you are feeling BIG feelings (fear, sadness, shame, guilt, loneliness, anger, or hurt) you can mindfully paint your nails while you sit with your feelings. This is a short practice of sitting with your feelings while you paint your nails. Once your nails are dry, you can journal or share your emotions with a safe person.

Feelings Chart: Even adults need a feelings chart. If you notice a feeling that needs support by using coping skills, then this is a great initial start. This is a great tool to have on your fridge and make it a whole family affair if you want to check in with your roommates or family during dinner.

Preemptive Love Candles: These candles are a great option because they are made by women affected by the Iraq war, but any candle will work for this self-care practice. Using candles to tune into your senses is one way to feel more grounded and connected to your body. Tuning into what you are feeling, smelling, seeing, hearing and tasting is a mindfulness practice.

My Therapy Cards by Dr. Ebony: I bought these self-exploration cards this summer and have loved them. Dr. Ebony created a set of cards to help you process your mindset, trigger responses, and habits. I have used them personally and with clients. These cards can help you create new coping skills and habits when you feel triggered. Ps. She is a great follow on Instagram.

Mantrabands: Want your favorite coping skill as a reminder as a bracelet? There are lots of empowering bracelets that can help you set your intention for the day. Here are some more incredible bracelets: Laurel Denise’s leather “Be You Bravely” bracelet, Lillian and Co.’s “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” bracelet (for my Disney Parks Fans), and River Valley Jewelry’s "She believed she could, so she did" bracelet.

Environmental Self-Care Gifts:

The goals of Environmental Self-Care Skills are to create calmer and healthier spaces for you and to help build a better environment for everyone else. 
The practices in this skill are: I live in a calm home. I remove toxic people from my life. I intentionally disconnect from technology. I work to make a safer world for ALL people. I have a morning and night time routine.

“Anatomy of an Ally” Art Print: Danielle Coke, or OhHappyDani, reminds us of one way we can use our self-care to make a safer world for ALL people. One central tenet of self-care is caring more for ourselves will lead us to care more for humankind. This art print is one way to keep that guiding principle before us. Ps. Follow @ohhappydani on Instagram for more of her inspiring art.

Planters: Many of you mentioned that plants in cute planters is a calming feature in your home. Again, there is nothing magical about these planters, but intentionally adding a cute planter and greenery in home is a way to care for yourself. Note: if trying to keep a plant alive stresses you out try a Pothos, Sansevieria, or ZZ plant... these are great starter plants (also, here is a starter plant collection). But if that feels like a burden, then faux plants are great too.

Cozy Blanket: If you are looking to have a cozier and calmer home, a cozy blanket is always a win. Also, reading under a super soft blanket before bed is an excellent evening routine. This is one of my favorite blankets and it is now a central piece of my work from home office (…our guest bedroom).

Morgan Harper Nichols 2022 Planner: One way to have a calm home is by keeping a calendar up to date with events. If you want to level up your self-care, then scheduling in Margin or White Space on your calendar to keep you rested. This calendar is extra fun due to Morgan Harper Nichol’s beautiful and inspiring artwork, which is perforated and comes out easy and can be framed or gifted to friends.

Disney Circle: Does your family need help intentionally disconnecting from technology? Disney created a parental control device to manage screen time, device usage, and “pausing” the internet. One of the best ways to make more time for self-care is disconnecting from technology. Fifteen fewer minutes online could be fifteen more minutes of creativity or working on your hobbies.

More Environmental Self-Care Gifts:

• Want new bedding or new sheets?

• Organize your closet with new hangers.

• Need a car trash can?

• Would a light switch dimmer help your night time routine?

• My favorite pantry organizers.

• Want to update your throw pillows with new pillow covers?

• America Travel Themed Art from Nashville’s Anderson Design Group

Personal Self-Care Gifts:

The goal of Personal Self-Care Skills is to move towards taking care of yourself as an individual. 
The specific practices are: I understand my financial situation & use a budget. I have short-term and long-term goals. I have a hobby or passion project. I have created a vision board. I have a creative outlet.

Kindle: So many of you shared that your Kindle was one of your most used self-care tools. Kindles or E-readers can be great for saving money and space if you are a reader. Pro-Tip: see if your public library has an app for ebooks (and audiobooks).

Subscription to Magazine that Aligns with a Hobby: This was another great idea shared with me for developing a hobby or creative endeavor. There are magazines for so many types of hobbies and crafts. Click here for some more options.

You Need A Budget App Subscription: One major Self-Care Skill is understanding your financial situation and using a budget. The YNAB app is just one way to track spending and make financial goals. They have a free 34-day trial to see if it is a good fit for you. Also, they have a helpful podcast to help you understand your financial situation better.

Candle Making Kit: Making your own candles is one example of developing a hobby or creative pursuit Paddywax, a Nashville candle company, offers a candle making kit. This may not be the hobby for you, but give some time thinking about a hobby you want to try. Please add your favorite hobby or creative endeavor in the comments below to inspire others.

Baking Cookbook: Does this feel very 2020? My husband has this cookbook and I am grateful for it! Baking is another example of a hobby. Another way to make cooking a fun hobby is cooking through a cookbook. Not only does it remove some decision making around what is for dinner, but it can be a fun “challenge” for this winter.

More Hobby or Creative Outlet Gift Ideas:

• Puzzles

• Crossword Puzzle Book

• Modern Cross Stitch Kit

Professional Self-Care Gifts:

The goals of Professional Self-Care Skills are to create a healthier work/life balance and to help you thrive in your career. 
The specific practices in this skill are: I know the “why” behind the work I do. I take sick/vacation days. I set and keep boundaries.I have professional goals.I advocate for myself.

Dare to Lead: I love this book by Brené Brown. Due to the shifts a lot of businesses and schools navigated this year, this book is an incredible read to help you strengthen your leadership skills and influence your professional goals. If you are struggling with advocating for yourself, this book gives tangible practices to help your “rumble” with hard conversations. Also, she has a new podcast called Dare to Lead on Spotify to help us better understand and apply key leadership concepts.

Full Focus Planner: Who loves a good planner? The Full Focus Planner is a popular one for professionals due to its goal driven design. If you are working on putting your short-term and long-term professional goals into action, this may be a good place to start. Planners can help you keep boundaries around your time, which is another self-care practice. Also, it has pages dedicated to morning and evening routines, plus a section for your self-care. Note: this planner is meant to be used for 90-days unlike many year-round planners.

Airbnb Gift Cards: There are two ways to use this gift for professional self-care. 1) Take a vacation. 2) Go on a self-led work retreat. If you are a working from home parent, you have full permission to take a work retreat and catch up on all the things that you have not been able to finish with little ones always around. Ps. I will share more later, but a few weeks ago I went on a self-led professional retreat with another therapist friend and we stayed at an AirBnb not far from my house. 10/10 would recommend it if you need to catch up on work (or get ahead on work).

Duffle Bag: One major self-care practice is taking sick days and vacation days. I know many of us have canceled trips due to the pandemic, but if you have vacation days please think about using them (especially if you will “lose them” at the end of the year). One way to prevent professional burnout is taking time off work. Also, you may already have great luggage or a weekender bag, but I wanted to share at least one great product from Nashville’s own Able, a local, ethical fashion company.

Busy Toddler’s Pre-School Curriculum: This one is for the stay at home parents, which is a profession as well. You may not want this specific curriculum under the Christmas tree (even though it is a GREAT one), but I wanted to make sure the stay at home parents were included in this list. Another great option if you are a stay at home parent, is a book on parenting. Again, these ideas are not meant to feel like a burden, so only purchase them if they will serve you.

Happy Holidays! I hope your 2022 is full of Courageous Action.

I know that this has been a difficult year. I am hopeful that this list has inspired you to add some self-care items to your wishlist, but I really hope it helps you see self-care in a new way. Maybe you own many of these items, but never saw them as a tool for self-care. None of these items are magical, but if you name your intention for self-care and use them in meaningful ways, I promise it will help. If you want to make a self-care plan for 2022, please download my free Self-Care Annual Planner.

Comment below with your favorite self-care items or what from this list you are asking for this year.