Want to Know What Other Women Do For Self-Care?

Stuck In a self-care rut? Needing some inspiration?

When I ask what you need to create a self-care plan the answers usually include “more time” and “a better understanding of what self-care actually could look like.” This blog series may not help you find more time, but it will give you a glimpse of what self-care looks like for a handful of wonderful women.

In 2018, I asked a few friends to share what they do for self-care in the Nashville Self-Care series. They shared their practices and inspired many readers to strengthen their current self-care practices. They will share their annual, weekly, and daily self-care practices that they use in their self-care plan. You can read the blog that fits with you most, but each of these women give insight it what may help you build your self-care plan.

Self-care stories and Self-Care Plans can be really Helpful in making your next right step.

I hope these self-care stories give you some helpful tips and clarity around other women’s practices. There is no perfect self-care plan and everyone does it a little differently. You need to find what works for you in this season of life. My self-care practices in 2018 look differently than they did in 2019 as a new mother. Finding long-term self-care skills are necessary for the bad days and make the good days even better.

here are some next Self-Care steps:

If you want to take my Self-Care Skills quiz then take it here. You will receive my free Self-Care Planner in your email after taking the quiz and have weekly emails about Self-Care in your inbox.

If you want to download my free Self-Care Planner without taking the quiz then click here. You will receive the Courageous Action Newsletter with weekly practices and helpful tips to build your Self-Care plan.

If you are wanting to add seeing a licensed therapist as a part of your self-care plan and live in Tennessee, please schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. If you live outside of Tennessee, then check out Psychology Today’s “Find a Therapist” feature.

Comment below to share what your favorite self-care practice is and inspire the next reader.

You Are A Creative & Why I Bought A Watercolor Set in March 2020.

You are a creative.

Say it with me, “I am a creative.”

One more time for you in the back. “I am a creative.”

I know a lot of you don’t agree with that sentence AT ALL.
Look at us respectfully disagreeing as adults on the internet.
Please let me plead my case for you to embrace being a creative.

1. Brené Brown

Brené Brown’s work has deeply shaped my own personal work and introduced me to this idea. In her book, The Gift of Imperfection includes creativity as the way to let go of comparison. Do you need to quit playing the comparison game? We all do. Brené writes, “There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t.”

2. Science

In  Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski’s book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle includes creative expression as one of the ways to complete your stress cycle. Are you stressed? Do something creative. They write, “Engaging in creative activities today leads to more energy, excitement, and enthusiasm tomorrow.”

3. It is a MAJOR self-care red flag when we are unable to come up with creative solutions.

In the book, Trauma Stewardship, “diminished creativity” is one of the sixteen Trauma Exposure Responses. When you are mentally overwhelmed with stressors it is harder to be creative and problem solve. Authors Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk include this quote from Cicero, “Only the person who is relaxed can create and to that mind, ideas flow like lightening.” Have you ever noticed how you think the best on a quiet car ride, on a run, or in the shower? Creativity needs some space to happen.

You are a creative. You really are.

Meal planning, cooking, decorating your house, writing, taking photos, captioning Instagram posts, parenting, crafting, painting, singing, music, and problem solving are all creative.

Can you make a quick list of all the creative solutions you have made in 2020?

In the middle of March 2020, we were looking at a couple of weeks (if we only knew) of being at home. I bought a watercolor set and printed some coloring sheets. I could feel the stress cycles building, and I knew I would need extra support; so, I sat at our kitchen table and painted.

I wasn’t painting to create a masterpiece or even for anyone else’s approval, but I needed to lean into my creativity. The watercolors are still out six months later.

Comment below on how you are a creative.

Cultivate A Gratitude Practice

Cultivating a gratitude practice is as simple as writing down three to five things or moments from your day that you are grateful for.

Paying attention to big and small moments that brought you joy, made you laugh, or helped you get through the day creates a healthy mindset of looking for positive moments instead of getting stuck on the low points of the day.

Even in 2020 we can find three to five things we are thankful for, right?

In March, moving my counseling practice online (over a weekend) and not really leaving our house WAS A LOT to navigate. It was a lot for all of us to navigate. It continues to be lot to navigate…

Honestly, my gratitude practice held me together some nights in March and April of this year. Those early days of being quarantined at home felt like scarcity at its finest. Nothing was as it should be and it didn’t feel like there was going to be enough toilet paper/meat/jobs/ventilators for everyone. It was way too much scarcity for my mind to hold, but I knew gratitude is the antidote to scarcity.

Every night before putting my daughter in her bed, I would rock her and name the three best parts of my day. Just writing them down wasn’t enough for me at that time I had to say them out loud.

Sometimes it was as basic as a blooming flower in our yard, listening to good music, seeing family on FaceTime, or finding that scarce toilet paper. But I needed to name it. Each and every one one of those moments deserved the credit for being a good part to my day.

Gratitude is an incredible framework to see your day through... even if it was a rough day.

Practicing it every day helps to rewire your brain. SHOUT OUT to neuroplasticity! Our brains will always be trying to keep us safe; and safety seeking means to remember when we felt scared, which is great to keep us from walking in front of moving cars. BUT we also need to remember the joyous moments too and sometimes our brains need the extra help.

Cultivating a gratitude practice is scientifically shown to help you become more optimistic, feel better about your life as a whole, and make progress toward your goals.

If you are looking for some ideas of what you might include in your gratitude practice, here are some ideas:

• the sunrise/sunset

• the funny thing your friend/kid/tv character said

• listening to a favorite song while doing the dishes

• the hard conversation you had with a friend

• savoring your cup of coffee

  Cultivate the life you want through gratitude because there is good stuff all around us.